Addicted

The fact that rides like this can exist is what keeps me going. I love riding, but like any love, sometimes it sucks. Sometimes you just want to quit it forever and do something else. It's almost impossible to reconcile how unappealing riding can seem when I'm deep in a burned-out period with how amazing a good ride can make me feel.

Wesley Willis -- rest in peace -- was a schizophrenic who enjoyed taking bus rides; but he never knew if a ride was going to be a 'hell ride' or a 'harmony joy ride'.

Much in the same way, when first heading out of the driveway, I never know what kind of ride it's going to be. I can do everything right -- be fully rested, eat perfectly, be in top form, and yet go out and ride like crap and feel like crap. Just as easily, I can go out for a ride on seemingly stale legs, tired, and set new PBs and have an amazing ride. I just don't get it, and I don't think I ever will. The body -- and the mind -- is a mysterious thing.

Tonight's ride was nothing special; a 45 mile road ride on a loop I've probably ridden literally a hundred times. At first the legs definitely felt a bit dead from mountain biking last night, but came around after about half an hour and I started feeling great...

You may have noticed I haven't updated this blog as much as I did last season. I'll be honest: my inspiration and motivation this year has been sporadic. Along with it, my fitness has also been lagging behind the curve compared to the last couple seasons; which I blame on complete and utter avoidance of the trainer over the winter coupled with a brutally hard winter to actually ride outside. Part of the reason I wanted to write this was just to remind myself of how I feel right now: on top of the freaking world. Pure adrenaline. The concept of post-exercise endorphin release gets thrown-around a lot, but holy God - it really does exist and this, right now, is endorphin overdrive. I've never taken any drug that made me feel as good as I do right now, and I'd tend to be of the opinion that one doesn't exist. I'm an addict. On tonight's ride I felt no pain. I attacked every rise, fought with the headwind the whole way, and loved it. The last 2 miles of the ride my average speed was about 33, drafting off a car, averaging around 400 watts. There is no better feeling than the excitement and adrenaline of the sensation of speed from your own power.

The occasional good race result or even a podium is great, but really, when you get down to it, rides like tonight's are really why I train, and why I love bike riding.